Gone are the days when people thought women were
inherently squeamish about s*x. And good riddance. It’s
so obvious, it seems silly to even say it, but women are
every bit as interested in having s*x as men — and just
as comfortable with the nitty gritty.
But sometimes, things happen during s*x that can take
even the most sexually confident of us aback. There are
sounds, and smells and feelings that make us stop and
think … “Uh, what just happened?” “Is that normal?”
So we asked a team of s*x-health experts to spill: What
are some typical things that happen to women during
s*x, but that you never really hear people cop to or
wonder about? And what, if anything, do they mean?
Here’s what they said.
1. You’re Dry:
It’s very common for women to become (or stay) dry or
irritated during s*x. In fact, roughly one-third of young
women say they experience vaginal dryness. But
lubrication is one of the keys to a pleasurable,
comfortable s*xual encounter. The best way to get there,
Good ol’ fashioned foreplay. Vibrators can help too.
If dryness is taking a more serious toll on your s*x life or
making you uncomfortable throughout the day (which can
be a particular problem as women age), make an
appointment with your health care provider. Vaginal
dryness affects many women, although they frequently
don’t bring up the topic with their doctors.
2. You Have ‘The Moment’
No, not an climax, but that moment — seconds or
minutes after s*x begins — when you just somehow
know how the rest of the encounter is going to play out
for you, good, bad or otherwise.
When it comes to s*x, women often start in a state of
s*xual neutrality. Sometimes, you start engaging in
s*xual activity and right away, you think, ‘This is going
to work.
Other times, you sense that what’s coming next will be
nice, or fun, but that you won’t quite get there. Women
are pretty intuitive about whether they’re going to be
able to achieve climax.
3. You Feel Like Peeing
If during certain s*xual positions, like doggie-style, you
[have] a need-to-pee feeling, it’s completely normal.
Those sensations are usually from G-spot stimulation,
which can lead to female ejaculation. release comes out
of the urethra and is clear and odorless.
That said, it is entirely possible — and not atypical — for
women to pee and climax at the same time. Some
women find they pee a little when they laugh, sneeze or
climax, particularly after giving birth. It’s also easy to
confuse the feeling of an impending climax with the urge
to pee. Women who do not experience urinary
incontinence at other times, but feel the urge to pee
when approaching climax, may be getting confusing
messages from very sensitive parts of their bodies. If
fears about going to the bathroom during s*x are going
to hold you back in any way, simply go before you get
started.
4. You Scream
Sure, there’s often a performance aspect to screaming
during s*x. A small 2011 study found that 66 percent
moan during s*x to speed up their partner’s climax, while
87 percent did so to boost their partners’ self-esteem.
But making noises can be a great way to be clear about
what you want in bed, and “there are many women who
need to be vocal to help themselves achieve climax.
There is a difference between faking it like a screamer,
and being in the moment and expressing how you’re
feeling, which can increase sound. Some women are
quiet during s*x, others are loud — it’s as simple as
that.
5. You ‘Fart’
Vaginal flatulence is not actually the same thing as
passing gas — it’s just air being released through the
v**ina — but it does make a very similar sound. Dubbed
“queefing,” it occurs when air gets trapped in the v**ina
and while there isn’t really any way to prevent it,
avoiding certain s*x positions may help, whereas
switching positions several times may increase the
chances of it happening. Better yet, just don’t sweat it.
s*x can be awkward — we queef … bump body parts
and miss the mark, It’s completely natural for it not to be
seamless, and your best bet is to laugh it off and keep
going.
6. You’re Distracted
Sometimes when you’re having s*x, you’re totally in the
moment –incapable of thinking about anything else.
Other times, you’re thinking about approximately 12
million other things. Women report that they’re pretty
easily distracted by what is happening in their life. They
wonder if something is wrong with them. Why am I
thinking about that? Why am I not able to focus?
Sometimes, it is what it is. In other words, women
shouldn’t beat themselves up if other elements of their
lives creep into their bedroom. But if distraction becomes
a frequent issue, there are mindfulness interventions
women can try — most of which they practice on their
own — that can make them feel more connected and
focused.
7. You Get A Headache
A s*x headache is usually a dull ache in your head or
neck that builds as s*xual excitement mounts, or it can
be a more sudden pain, often accompanying climax.
Most are nothing to worry about, but sudden-onset ones
may be a sign of something more serious. In rare
situations, some women have a severe headache at the
time of intercourse, which is possibly related to changes
in blood pressure. If you do have it, you’re not crazy, but
do mention it to your healthcare provider.
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